Part 1: The Paradigm We Live In

Most of us don’t realize we’re living inside a paradigm, a lens that shapes how we see the world, what we believe is possible, and the rhythms of our daily lives. A paradigm is simply “the way things are done.” But here’s the problem: when the paradigm is rooted in survival, overwork, and stress, it can quietly rob us of joy, health, and connection.

For military families, the paradigm often looks like this:

• Life revolves around deployments, relocations, and reintegration.

• Spouses and moms are expected to “be strong,” holding everything together while carrying invisible emotional loads.

• Self-care gets labeled as selfish or unrealistic in the face of mission demands.

• Productivity is praised, exhaustion is normalized, and silence is often mistaken for strength.

This paradigm is not malicious, it’s inherited. It comes from decades of military culture, generational norms, and societal pressures that condition us to keep going, no matter what. But over time, the costs add up: stress-related health issues, fractured marriages, and a constant sense of running on empty.

The paradigm whispers: “This is just the way it is.” But what if it isn’t?

Cracks in the Old Paradigm

Every so often, military families begin to question:

• Why do we glorify burnout as sacrifice?

• Why do we accept fractured families as inevitable?

• Why do we measure strength in silence, instead of connection?

These questions are the cracks in the old paradigm. They open the door to something new. They remind us that while we can’t always control the challenges of military life, we can choose how we respond to them.

And this is where the conversation of Changing the Paradigm begins.

The first step to transformation is awareness. Once we see the paradigm we’ve been living in, we finally have the power to imagine something different.