Let’s Hear It for the Tiny Humans: The Real Impact of SOF Life on Our Kids

Your kids may not fully grasp the scope of everything you’ve managed this year, but one thing they know for certain: you’ve been their rock. While their dad was away—missing holidays, games, and bedtime stories—you were the one who held their world together. You’ve been their steady anchor, the source of love and comfort they could depend on when life felt uncertain. 

But let’s talk about the other side of this coin—the part we often don’t say out loud. The truth is, SOF life doesn’t just shape us as spouses; it leaves an undeniable imprint on our kids too. From toddlers who cling to you at every goodbye to teens showing behaviors they’ve learned from watching a life of stress, absence, and sacrifice, our children feel this life deeply. 

This post is a celebration of the bond you’ve built with your tiny humans, but also an honest conversation about the signs they show of the life they’ve been brought up around—and how we can help shape their futures with intentionality, love, and hope. 

The Bond You’ve Built

If you’ve ever doubted your impact on your kids, let this remind you:  you are their everything.   

• In the Small Moments:   Whether it’s the bedtime stories you read to soothe their worries or the impromptu car rides filled with giggles and deep conversations, you’ve been their constant in a life of uncertainty. 

• In the Big Moments:   You’ve stepped in as both mom and dad at games, recitals, and school meetings. You’ve been the loudest cheerleader in the stands and the quiet reassurance they need at the end of a tough day. 

• In the Everyday Stability:   You’ve created a home where they feel safe and loved, even when the world around them feels chaotic. 

These moments may feel ordinary, but they’re anything but. They’re the foundation of trust and love that your kids will carry with them for a lifetime. 

The Signs of a SOF Life on Our Teens

As our kids grow, they start to reflect the environment they’ve been raised in—for better or worse. SOF life isn’t just a lifestyle; it’s a lens through which they learn to see the world. 

• Signs We See in Our Teens:    

  • Hyper-Independence:   They’ve learned to handle things on their own because they’ve watched you do it. While independence can be a strength, it often comes with a reluctance to ask for help or share emotions. 

  • Suppressed Emotions:   Whether it’s the unspoken stress of deployments or the absence of a parent, our teens may struggle to process and express their feelings. They’ve seen the “just keep going” mentality modeled, and it can leave them feeling disconnected. 

  • Protectiveness Toward You:   Many teens take on the emotional burden of worrying about their mom, stepping into a pseudo-adult role far too early. 

  • Anger or Frustration:   The absence of their dad, even when explained and justified, can lead to feelings of anger or frustration that they struggle to articulate. 

  • Avoidance or Emotional Distance:   They’ve learned that secrecy is part of the SOF life, and this can manifest in their own relationships, making it hard for them to open up or trust others fully. 

What Our Kids Shouldn’t Have to Be

Our tiny humans shouldn’t have to develop the kind of resilience that comes from enduring loneliness, absence, or emotional suppression. They deserve to feel supported, loved, and free to express their emotions—without carrying the weight of the SOF lifestyle on their shoulders. 

As parents, we can’t change the reality of deployments or the demands on their dad, but we  can  influence the way they process and adapt to these challenges. 

How to Support Your Kids Through This Life

• Encourage Emotional Expression    

  • Create a safe space for your kids to share their feelings—good, bad, and everything in between. Let them know it’s okay to be upset, sad, or even angry about dad’s absence. 

  • Model healthy emotional expression by sharing your own feelings when appropriate.

• Focus on Connection    

  • Spend intentional, undistracted time with your kids. Whether it’s a family game night or one-on-one conversations, these moments strengthen your bond and reassure them that they’re not alone. 

  • Encourage connection with their dad, even when he’s away. Letters, video calls, and small rituals can help bridge the gap. 

• Give Them Age-Appropriate Context    

  • Help your kids understand the “why” behind the absences without sugarcoating or overburdening them. Frame it in a way that acknowledges their feelings while honoring their dad’s commitment. 

• Seek Outside Support    

  • Sometimes, professional help is the best way to ensure your kids have the tools they need to process the complexities of SOF life. Therapy or counseling can provide a safe, neutral space for them to work through their emotions. 

• Show Them They’re Not Alone    

  • Encourage them to connect with other military kids who understand what they’re going through. Feeling understood can make a world of difference. 

The Legacy You’re Building

One day, your kids will look back and see everything you’ve done for them. They’ll remember the sacrifices you made, the love you gave, and the way you held their world together when it felt like it might fall apart. 

But more importantly, they’ll carry forward the lessons you’re teaching them now: 

• That asking for help is okay. 

• That expressing emotions doesn’t make you weak. 

• That family is about showing up for each other, even when it’s hard. 

You’re not just raising kids—you’re raising future adults who will navigate the world with empathy, strength, and an understanding of what it means to love and be loved. 

Looking Ahead to 2025

As we close out 2024, let’s take a moment to celebrate the tiny humans who’ve been part of this journey with you. Their laughter, their resilience (not the kind we want for them), and their ability to adapt have been a reminder of why you do what you do. 

But let’s also commit to giving them—and yourself—the tools and support needed to navigate this life in a healthier, more connected way. Because they deserve more than survival; they deserve a childhood that feels full and joyful, no matter the circumstances. 

Here’s to you, SOF moms. The bond you’re building with your kids is extraordinary, and the legacy you’re creating is one they’ll carry with them forever. 

From all of us at Lotus River Wellness, we see you. We celebrate you. And we’re here to help you and your tiny humans thrive.    

 #SOFKidsMatter  #ParentingThroughSOFLife  #StrengthInLove